The Light Within

I breathe in the crisp fall air as the last of the sun’s light fades into the deep darkness of night. The cool air dances across my skin, sinking deep down until I feel a chill throughout. It is both unpleasant yet revitalizing. The intensity of cold hits my system and reminds me of life the within my body. The life within my flesh is magnified by the icy discomfort. I breathe in deeply and close my eyes to soak in the moment. Feeling my breath hit deep within me, to the place where it touches the soul. The connection makes my heart skips a beat. A smile dances across my face as I gaze up at the dark sky and look upon the stars shining brightly. Oh, how the sky feels more like home than any other place I’ve been. My spirit stirs within me, yearning for places I have not known.

The stars beckon to my soul. As though they are old friends reaching out. Whispering secrets from eons past. I long to roam freely through the cosmos. An ever shining light that travels years through the expanse of darkness searching for someone to recognize the magnificence of my soul’s inner radiance. Looking for those lost in the endless night, to guide them along until they find their own inner radiance. For only a few know what it’s like to shine brightly through the great dark ether, hoping for one day someone will see your light. Years of travel through the dark abyss to find the one who’s heart will sing at the sight of your soul’s shining.

Yet still my body feels at home among the trees, as they know how to reach for the heavens while remaining firmly grounded. They breathe in that which suffocates and turn it into life sustaining air. My heart’s greatest desire is to be like them. To transform that which poisons the world surrounding me, all the pain, all the loneliness, and show others how love can transform it into gratitude and wisdom. To show how we’re all connected and one with the flow of life.

For there is a river within each of us. Ever flowing, never knowing for sure if it’s path will bring it back to reunite with the Source. An ocean of oneness in a world full of drought. The river knows that with such shear power it doesn’t matter what obstacles lie within its path. For partnered with the currents of time, the river has nothing that can withstand it. Water flowing only needs time to transforms what is in its path. For even one day the rock will be shaped by its current.

If only these words may flow and reach out to touch another’s soul. To find those who feel lost; those searching and yearning for that which cannot quite be explained. To comfort the lonely. Those who feel beaten by the waves of crashing down on them. Lost in a crowd who is blind to the greatness that lies within. Do not fret. Do not faulter on your journey. Your contribution to the world is far greater than you can imagine. It is only once you see it that you will truly be free. Remember it is human nature to overlook the beauty of the world. Do not doubt the power you retain, due to the few who are too blind to see the magnificence of the universe that resides within you.

Mindful Connection

As I previously discussed, I’d like to further touch on how our disconnected perspective with mental health is because we connect the mind and the soul as though they are one and the same. That perhaps we need to reframe our perception of the mind.

What if we could look at it as a dashboard or interface to connect the soul to the physical existence? A way for our soul to experience, and be touched by, this thing we call life. But not necessarily something that defines the spirit. Especially with how it seems the line is blurred between soul and physicality. It would be easy to see the how we could lose sight of how truly magnificent the spirit is. Yet we’re so ignorant about what the soul even is; leaving a definition complex. So, with a lack of a universal definition and explanation, truly it is up to what you feel is your truth. Just maybe don’t be so hard on yourself and others, we’re all still in beta testing.

Though be it through the heights of happiness, the bliss of love, or the depths of sadness. I know my soul is more. It’s at these moments of intensity that I feel my soul’s connection is more easily seen. But I also know it’s still there during the monotony of every day routine. Yet I don’t feel that these aspects of the physical experience, define my soul. Though other souls leave an imprint, I feel that Spirit is an everlasting strength, a certainty, I can tap into whenever I choose. Or more like whenever I remember how to, as disconnection feels like an epidemic.

I know it’s not a new realization, but even though we’re more easily connected than ever, the vast majority of people feel lonely. It’s an ironic fact that we’re all lonely together… In s highly accessible world. Is this due to the way technology takes away those highs and lows? Or puts controls on it so we may choose to not experience the intensity at times? Those moments that make the connection more visible, it allows us a filter. Or at least places them in solitude within a device, rather than in unpredictable personal interactions. I feel that it’s more fear of unpleasant interactions or judgement, with technology being a good assistance in avoidance. A lot of negative stuff in our existence goes back to roots in some sort of fear.

Now with that all being said, there’s still times technology may precipitate these deeply connecting experiences, but I see how it can dull the more common interactions. We’re more in control, but perhaps that control comes at a cost? I think it boils down to what all of humanity must advance in, which is mindfulness and moderation.

I greatly value connections I’ve made with people that I might never have had the opportunity to, had it not been for the internet. But I also notice the colder interactions with people closer to me. Such as feeling forced to stay on a platform I dislike to just have any sort of connection or interaction with some friends and family. Rather than phone calls or scheduling chats over coffee. We update our status and put up pictures online to keep others informed. Yes, there may be more information in quantity, but what about quality? Or connection? Remember, it’s more fulfilling to see your beautiful face in person than the perfected photo on your account. Even if there’s a new one every day.

Perhaps in the world of filters and followers, that disconnection with self becomes greater. Due to the pressure of needing an instagood worthy experience every day. When most of us realize how generally the same our daily lives are. But it’s ok to not be picture perfect. Connecting to the real person is far more satisfying than a perfectly filtered image.

In the end it’s ok to dive into the digital world and play a part. But don’t forget to tap out routinely, to take time to tap into connection with your soul, as well as others. It can be a powerful tool for good after all.

As humans it seems we have many things to learn about what mindfulness really is and how it plays a role not only in our physical health but also our spiritually health and connectivity. One of the many good things about the internet is that are more capable of being able to remind each other to take time out to reach out, or reach within. Just think of it as being similar to how your device’s operating system needs updates routinely, so does your spirit. We just get the cool opportunity to connect in many ways, be it spiritually upgrading to connect with others. It during times alone sketching/whatever helps you reach a meditative space. Just take that time to tap in and level up! 😉

The Root of Negative Mental Health Perceptions

My Post (10)


It is simply a part of being human. With the amazing gift of the human mind, comes the ups and downs of mental health. When dealing with general health it is widely accepted that we all deal with times of balance, often considered good health or wellness. As well as times of imbalance, being bad health, disease, or illness. Just as our bodies change, so do our minds. Perhaps, even more so, as we are still very naive as to inner workings of the brain, mind, and soul. With vastly varying beliefs, I doubt we’ll ever be able to come to an agreement on how the brain and mind are connected to the concept of soul. However, it boils down to the fact that everyone has challenging life events, overwhelming stress, or an illness that disrupts their inner balance. Just like a virus can disrupt the balance of your body. Or malignancy can disrupt the balance of your cells. For some it’s more impactful or intense than for others. Yet we do not judge someone if they struggle harder with cancer than someone else with the same form. But looking at mental illness there is such harsh judgement. People are looked at as “crazy” like it is somehow within their control, or they are just lacking the will and strength to overcome the challenge. Thankfully, we don’t do this to someone who is sick. Imagine have the flu and someone judging you for it.

For many, mental illness is more impactful than they will ever admit, because horrible stigmas cling to mental health and those who seek care during challenging times. For all of us, I’ll bet we all have gone through moments of mental illness or dis-ease. And how many suffered alone unnecessarily because of the connotations associated with mental health? Judgement follows watchful and weary of anyone admitting to mental illness. Preventing many from seeking help, or even truly realizing the need to seek the care they need. Which is horrible because for we all know that catching an illness or issue early can prevent it from lasting longer or getting worse. How many would have been able to return to balance with simple treatments, yet left neglected it spiraled into something much worse? But why is this? What has created such a stigma around mental health? In my humble opinion, it is fear.

adult-alone-backlit-278303

Mental health is the only aspect of health that is fused with the aspect of the core self, be it personality or just purely the soul. The ever powerful “I am”. While many physical illnesses or injuries can shake us to our core, there’s this resounding faith in inner strength that it “will pull you through it.” That you can fall back on your sense of self during illness or injury. Yet with mental health we have to take this cold hard look at how easily our idea of identity can be changed. It is a sobering thought to think that the aspects of “I am” can be shaken with simple changes in the chemistry of your brain. That the imbalance can cause someone who was happy to be miserable. Not caring for the people or things that once greatly defined them. It makes you question if your soul is merely a chemical interactions, but really this is letting fear run wild.

When we look at someone with mental illness it scares us. For who wants to really look inside and think that the normal inner dialogue inside your head, can suddenly switch to a deafening roar or dark twisted voices. That these changes can cause the person to seem a stranger to those to know them best. Acknowledge that it can change habits, inhibitions, and fortitude. While most will never experience the dramatic shifts in mental wellness, the fact that it is still largely unknown and even worse, misunderstood. Leaves it this looming pit of terrifying possibilities. Just like our ancestors gave into paranoia of demons and witches causing events they simply didn’t understand. So too are we basically giving into superstitions that mental illness is different from any other form of illness. It is much easier to look at someone with mental illness and place the blame on them, that they have somehow failed, are broken, or weak. Rather than looking at someone who is going through this horrible health challenge and showing them empathy. Because empathy requires you to take on that moment of “what if it was me”. It’s an aspect of our mortality that we have a hard time accepting, because we often tie our personality to our soul. Which I think does very little justice to how amaranthine the soul truly is. The soul doesn’t shatter over the experiences of a lifetime.

Mental illness doesn’t mean that the soul is weak, it’s just going through an experience. I feel that often we look at identity and sense of self in this concrete and stagnant way. Yet throughout our lives our identity has to change. It is just hardest when we have no feeling of control. But we only truly lose control when we allow fear to dictate our action, or in some cases inaction. If we could only take a breath and realize that mental health, as well as our concept of identity, works on a spectrum. As one of my favorite writers says:

My Post (9)

Just as we cannot step into the same river twice, never can we step into ourselves the same as another time in our life. Who would want to? Stagnant water isn’t inviting. In fact humanity chases the white water rapids. And sits in awe of the waterfall. The ever-changing, and sometimes chaotic, beauty that sits within nature dwells too within the human experience. Though some would say “Oh, what then should we seek mental illness?”, and the answer is, of course not. We are already learning to be weary of intentionally messing with the balance of nature, for it can cause far greater ramifications. But we don’t judge nature for the bends in a river. If only we could sit with this acceptance for each other, to practice setting aside our judgments and fears; the journey would be far easier to navigate. Yet, we tend to put so much pressure on ourselves to be in control at all times. With the main goal of simply feeling secure enough so that we may go out and test our limits in daring ways. The suffering we self-impose, and then project onto each other, is exhausting. Imagine what we’d be capable of if we tried to practice letting go of fear and judgement. To set aside shame and instead uphold the journey to seek wellness in all aspects of who and what we are. It won’t be easy, nor will it happen over night. But it begins with just trying.

clouds-country-countryside-533858

If you are either in a rough patch, or have been facing the challenges of long therm mental illness. Know that you are not a broken person. You are not unworthy. You are not weak. You are not a failure. You are just human… And you deserve (w)holistic wellness.

Know that for at least this one human, I do not judge you. I meet you where you are, with an open heart and an empathetic soul. I cheer for your accomplishments, and am open to listen to your heartaches. For we all have our challenges, and I go through this journey ever in awe at the diverse and complex beauty of the human spirit. It is #mentalhealthawarerness month. If you feel inclined to share, I’d love to know what experiences you’ve had or are going through!

beautiful-hands-heart-5390

Social Media Isn’t All Bad

Ok, first off let’s all agree we’re tired of the BS online. I’d be happy to not see rudeness for the “lolz” or trolling horrific things. We’re all aware of the creeps, drama, and how most things are fake online. I acknowledge all of this. However, I bet you all of that existed somewhere else before the internet. Which is something that got me thinking, are we blaming the messenger?

See everyone blames social media for highlighting materialism or for making people narcissistic. It’s “corrupting” people this way or that way. But that’s like saying the holidays made me gain a few pounds, and hence holidays are the root of the issue! Rather than admitting weakness with self-control. The blame goes to the internet for creepinsss, when it’s humans using it to be perverse.

It’s not just a mirror, it’s a super magnified mirror for humanity. If you’ve ever been brave enough to look at your face in a 5x magnified mirror, you’ll know that nothing looks pretty that close up!

I bring this up because there’s always a very negative conversation going on about the internet and social media specifically. It’s a great escape goat to place blame on, or deem as evil to justify dismissing a topic people are uncomfortable with. That the internet “burnt” everyone out on a hot button issuse, so don’t talk about it anymore. Or best yet, let’s all of us scream “fake news” at each side of an issue. You then can walk away from it much easier. While there is fake news, this term is often more used to shut down conversations. Which won’t do anyone any good. It’s ok to say you don’t feel this conversation is getting anywhere, let’s agree to disagree and walk away. We don’t have to invalidate each other clinging to the desire to have everyone agree.

Yet the internet couldn’t exist without humans. It’s only highlighting issues we’ve been better able to hide in the past. It only gets in your face, or burns you out, if you’re spending a lot of time on the inter-webs. And there is the option to take a break from the internet. I know, not realistic long-term. At least not with the current direction of human development. But it’s still ok for a couple hours!

Yet, just like a magnified mirror, backing away can make the image so blurry you don’t see that suspicious mole, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone. One day you’re going to have to address the issue. Having a chance to see it when it’s smaller, means it’s easier to address. We get annoyed at social issues blowing up, yet they only got that way because they went ignored too long. Building up until it bursts.

This new era of humanity can either be the catalyst that forces us to take a deeper look at things humanity needs to change, things we all have to work on. Or we can allow all of our inner demons to destroy us.

So, I may say that there is so much good going on in the world, yet where is it all online? Well, it doesn’t “sell” well. So, fear and negativity are pushed because that’s what spreads quickly and far. It’s preying on the whole concept of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The foundation of which is your basics, survival and security. Then moves up to family/relationships, and then on to self-esteem. I won’t go too far into that though. I think we’re all pretty aware of the potential for manipulation.

Plus, I’m no saint in all of this, as at times I too get sucked in. So, please don’t think I’m preaching to you. We all have work to do.

I’m just saying, don’t condemn technology for the evils of humanity. Instead look at it as an opportunity for growth. If something repels you so much, find a way to get involved and make changes. But do it respectfully. I see people get involved because the issue is so important, then they spit poison at anyone with a difference in opinion. That’s not helping.

Remember none of this is new and maybe that’s showing us we need to approach things differently. People have battled it out over important issues since the dawn of man. Corruption in power, and using that to manipulate others, has existed throughout the ages. It morphs to adapt to the different ages. Today it could be the media or government when ages ago it hid within a religion or dubbed itself royalty. Today it’s morphing to adapt to our world. Being more connected means we see it more, but that is good because corruption doesn’t function well when visible.

How We Can Shift the Paradigm

If you see a day where everything online is soul crushing misery, that destroys your faith in humanity. Find something positive to post. A quote, a photo of your goofy pet, or heck make a silly face selfie. It won’t change the internet, but it could boost those in your little section of it. Maybe it will spread. Or if you see it’s a day the internet is being used not to inform, but to just push negativity, then get off of it.

I don’t mean for your work or whatever you have to do. I mean the mindless scrolling through news, social media, etc. However, I also see so many people stressed about not being available 24/7. You miss a nonessential phone call or message at 4:55 pm and decide to wait until the next morning to reply. Yet that person has a straight up hissy fit that it took you “so long” to respond. Even calling back within an hour, I’ve had platonic social interactions that demand to know why I wasn’t by my phone when they decided to call me for an update, which was that they had no update. Seriously? I went to the bathroom, do I need permission? No.

I’ll age myself for a minute and say, we didn’t have cellphones when I was younger. Or they weren’t widely used. You generally had to wait a lot longer to get a return call. Sometimes days of playing tag with each other’s answering machines (aka antiquated voicemail). Somehow, the world did not implode. It’s ok to take a couple hours off the internet. It’ll be there when you get back.

My point being, the internet is molded by our interactions with it. Literally, look at how the ways we interact within the internet is evolving and shaping it. Brands notice trends and those in power see what holds influence. It’s changing society, we might as well get in on that possibility. There’s all of this opportunity to be involved in ways our ancestors never could have dreamed of. Jobs that never would’ve been an option. Or how you, yes you, that one person in this big world, have a higher chance of making something that could impact a massive amount of people. That’s power within your grasp. One that only multiplies when we connect and join together on a cause. And I firmly believe, that despite all the negative and work needing to be done, there’s an overwhelming amount of good in people. People who aren’t afraid evolve and work together. And that will prevail.

Let’s all learn to practice looking at it with a bit of objectivity so we can see if we’re being emotionally manipulated. Find ways to enjoy research, so we’re not just taking force feed facts. And being able to recognize if it’s something that hits us in the feels, it could be because it needs to be addressed. But please, let’s not forget to find time for adorable animal videos. Like this one, and a doggo for good measure! I won’t leave you with all that and no cute animals to wash it down!

💖